Advice needed

[jmack]

I have been out of the dating seen for some time. However, I met a girl about four months ago at a resturant that I had going to for about the same four months.

She and I got to know each other and finally I asked her for her number, which she gave me. I did ask whether or not she had a boyfriend and was told no, more than once.

Subsequently, I had asked her out about four times and each time there was an issue when it came to going-out, which made me wonder about. I was able to get one of her co-workers to tell me that she did in fact have a boyfriend, which once again she denied.

I figured at this point, since I was new to the area, that it would be worthwhile to keep her as a friend and not pursuit anything further. Then about a week later we were holding hands, kissing, and texting.

This lasted about two-weeks and then she became very distant to me. I figured that I did something wrong and decided once again to back-off.

She then admitted to me that she had a boyfriend and that she wasn't sure about how things were going and explained some details. She then asked what I thought about her relationship, which I regret ever answering. She in kind replied that looks aren't everything, which I agree with, and that he was nice to her. But a few seconds later she replied that I was nicer to her.

I then apologized and told her that I cared about her and that I was sorry I ever answered her question. In an attempt to change the subject, she then asked me about who I was seeing and about others that I had dated, all the time telling me that I was making mistakes and telling me she didn't care but nonetheless telling me all the issues with them.

I'm not quite sure what to do. I can see that at this time it is not the right time to follow-up on her.

My question is what should I do? I don't want to loose her friendship altogether and I would really like to be with her at some point. How do I best leave things and what do I say?

Do I continue to talk to her as a friend and continue flirting, which is getting very hard on me?

[Leo]

Oh well, first of all your case is full of confusions. Just give her some space... if you keep on going after her you will make her go away. If you really like her then just give it a break for 30 days and ignore her for entire time... control your emotions.. you will be tempted to call her or contact her but find a substitute for that...

You must be wondering about substitute, right? it is simple.. start getting more socialize with friends and family instead of just thinking about her... divert your mind to different things.. start doing some extra activities.. that will help you break those 30 days... and same time that time will give her some time to breath.

After that one month period, just bump into her somewhere you know and take it as a casual meeting and ask her out for some coffee or something and take it from there....

If she is not the one.. then hey.. there are plenty of fish in the pond.. so always be ready to move on...

I hope that helps... :)